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We've been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been often caught off guard in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances disappeared during that time, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. This surprised her. She made more effort to be my friend, and must have realised more clearly the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many of her friends have drifted apart without her being sure why. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, she departed without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we have each stepped back from work leading to more time together, yet I realize my role in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to what interests her. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I attempt to propose verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been planning a vacation to a country I've visited on several occasions and lived in for some time. I tried to share personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She really only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I've just ended four weeks in that place and she wants to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the effect of her actions on my confidence. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could end things abruptly, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution requires bravery and willingness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one requires explaining how things go when you talk. Aim for this to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Step two involves sharing her how it makes you feel. There should be no dispute about this. Your feelings are valid, after all. The third step involves requesting how the two of you will alter the pattern between you."

Remember she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method involves stating to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's remarkably effective to encourage mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

She might reject all you say, as some people hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a narrative about themselves they're unable to let go of since their identity is tied to it and it represents they trust. This is difficult because there's no easy route here, just dead ends. However, she might at first react this way then consider about what you've said. And should you don't achieve a fix, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.